Hopefully I'm not the only one out there who has gone through this feeling; choosing between my children when they both need me. It started as something very small (doesn't everything?!) and quickly turned to both children crying and needing their Mama...
Evan has a small toy tractor from the movie Cars that he got for his birthday (thanks Nick & Alia!). He was really cranky yesterday, (I think he's teething and having a growth spurt) and this was about 8:20 last night, right as I was about to take him to bed. He threw the tractor, and it landed close to Aubrie. So I told him that he wasn't supposed to throw things, and gave him a warning that if he did it again I would spank him. He is usually very obedient, but can start to hit us or throw things when he is tired (he sounds terrible! But it only happens once and then he usually stops). Well, he threw it again, and it hit Aubrie. I don't even know where, but she started screaming immediately. I gave Evan his spanking, so he started crying, too. So here I was consoling one, while the other is crying, too. That isn't the part that bothered me, though. Evan knew he was wrong, and deserved the spanking. Aubrie started to calm down when I was holding her, so I laid her down to take Evan to bed. Of course, she starts screaming again. So I hurry to take Evan to bed while she is crying-then run back downstairs where he starts screaming-calm her down and wrap her up-I start crying because I can't help both of my children at the same time-run back upstairs crying to talk to my son about what he's done and put him to bed properly, where we both hug each other crying-then go back downstairs where Aubrie is totally fine and smiling at me...
All that to say, I know E was wrong, which is why I spanked him. I just didn't like having to choose between who needed me the most. I wanted to be able to hold him and talk to him about what happened and why he shouldn't throw, etc. But Aubrie needed me, too. I know I did the right thing, and both children were taken care of. It was just my first real experience with this emotion. I know as a parent that this will happen a lot in the future, and it was silly of me to react that way. I can handle crying kids, but it just broke my heart to hear Evan crying like that. Hopefully I will be able to handle things like that in the future, or be a better Mom and try to prevent it in the first place...
Thanks for listening.
2 comments:
You're such a great mom. Even though I'm not there yet, I totally felt the emotion with you as I was reading it! The love and concern of a mother are so powerful. You're doing a great job!
It had nothing to do with you being a better mom. They are going to mess up...he did this time. You "trained him in the way he should go" by talking to him, then reprimanding him, and you calmed the situation down by removing him. You couldn't have done a better job! They both know you love them and are going to protect them. Just know that God is going to see you through all of these upsets...and that all you can do is the best you can. It's okay to cry to our Father and ask him to take the wheel! Love you Kimmie, and I think you are an excellent mommy!!!
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